privilege

the majority of the time the word “privilege” is brought up, its in a political context. i think that throws people off, and leads them to associate it with a certain narrative or “agenda” at hand, giving the impression that its a tool used to bring down the achievements of those who truly deserve it. i dont disagree that these are real grievances you can have with the term, but allow me to challenge this notion that you might or might not be possessing

im assuming that by proxy of having a device and an internet connection to read this sentence, and partly through (probably) knowing me well enough to have found this website, you have certain privileges that youve had access to over the course of your life

often, the knee-jerk reaction to being told this is one of indignation; there seems to be an inherent shade that’s perceived to be thrown with this statement

growing up, we very often, especially if you happen to be from a family that isnt noticeably affluent, consider ourselves to the dead middle, or the benchmark for wealth/privelege. anyone who has significantly more than us is de facto considered rich, and the opposite are labelled poor. this isnt necessarily our “fault”, our worldview is always going to be mostly limited to our own experiences (more on this in a very very long and personal post ive been working on for months now)

here’s a thought experiment that i like to hold myself to often, in order to keep myself grounded:

take a walk outside, or if you have a balcony that overlooks a crowded area, that works too. for an hour, really observe every person you see. not in the surface level that you usually would. in whatever capacity you can, put yourself in their shoes. at least give your best attempt to. really think about what their lives would be like: what responsibilties they might have, what their day to day routine might look like, what challenges they mightve faced, anything you can really do justice to

if youre like me, 20 years old, from a decently well to do family, studying in a private college, living in a country like india: chances are that the average person you walk past/come across has had a lot fewer resources at their disposal growing up. you might not realise this because your circle is almost always going to be limited to other people with similar socio-economic backgrounds, knowingly or unknowingly. this sounds harsh, and maybe it is, but often times we dont even really percieve the lives of underpriveleged people as real, because it feels so “beneath” us. we can sympathize with their hardships, and we can convince ourselves that we care about them, but we can never imagine ourselves truly being them, or living like them

the same way how you can see extremely rich celebrity kids and wonder how carefree and stress-free their lives must be, we can only ever imagine what it must be like to really struggle financially, to really have to worry about basic amenities like food or shelter

our family, like many others, had a maid that helped with cooking/cleaning during most of our childhood. she had a son that was a couple of years (i think 2?) younger than me, who went to one of those small municipal schools nearby. me and my (twin) brother were always considered the studious or the “smart” kind growing up - we took part in many competitions, we got good grades, the whole nine yards. as a results, our older textbooks and notes were often handed down to him, we would also teach him some of his subjects, and it was commonplace for him to stay at our house during her working hours to get studies done because the environment at home wasnt the best

to me, this boy deserves no worse of a life, in any metric, than i do. he studied as much (or more) than me, he was passionate, he was curious, he had to face challenges in his daily life that 12 year old me wasnt even aware existed. yet by most objective standards, im probably living a “better” life than him. im in a more reputed college, with far greater opportunities, with more financial backing, with more family and friends around me, with more achievements under my name. but how much of this is truly a result of me?

almost everything that ive done or take for granted is built on the efforts of others around me. the food and water i consume, the rent being paid for my apartment, my college fees, any job opportunties that i have, any competitions ive won or accolades that ive collected: all of them are either partially or completely handed to me with no expectations in return from me. that’s not to say that the only achievements that matter are ones that were 100% independently attained yourself, but its so easy to take the priveleges youve been given as constants in your life, as the minimum that you need or “deserve”, and consider anything you accomplish with them as the fruit of your own efforts. ive literally been set up for success in everything i do, yet i somehow have the audacity to consider it a “personal” victory when i do

i take the same path while going running everyday. theres a certain intersection where a bunch of little kids swarm up to me, trying to sell me their stickers/keychains/wtv other items it is that they have. this is a very common occurance here, and i, just like most people, tend to mentally check them off everytime it happens. im sure we all have similar pre-concieved notions about them: their parents are using them to make more money, they might not actually be as poor as they claim, they target college students because we tend to be more willing to help, etc etc. its so easy to think that we know everything about them and their lives from these couple of seconds of interaction. but do we?

have we ever been 7 or 8 years old, in a family thats forced to send their children out to sell trinkets in order to stay afloat? have we ever actually been those kids, on the road? i think not. and until you’re put into that position yourself, you have no clue what it is like to be them. you have no clue what it must be like to be aware of money even as a concept at the age of 8. you have no clue what its like to have a future where the only thing spelled out for you is more struggle

its easy to counter this by saying that they deserve more, but do you deserve what you have? what did 14 year old me do to “deserve” a ps4? what did 12 year old me do to “deserve” extremely sophisticated (and honestly unaffordable) math tutions? what did 17 year old me do to “deserve” an expensive private college? do well in the entrance exam that was also paid for by others? study for it on my laptop that was paid for by my parents?

it breaks my heart everytime i open insta and see another rich kid (and yes, you and me fall under this category in the eyes of the average indian too) living such soulless, ambitionless lives. lives with every reasonable opportunity you could need to make a meaningful change, yet ones that are completely self serving, and self obsessed

we can do better. i know for a fact that i can do better. and i will.